When your Collection orders start rolling in, it’s beautiful to see the little girl dresses and the pretty things, but there is something super special about seeing the little boy combinations you put together! This season has been absolutely full of the best BOY fashions! Thank you for your part in our nostalgic enjoyment here at HK!
As a mother to four boys, who are now 19, 17, nearly 16, and 12, you can bet my heart melts with nostalgia every time I see a little boy. I remember. I recall the crazy times, but mostly I recall the laughter and the amazingness it was to be a boy mom. It’s still is amazing; even more amazing then ever.
Now that the boys are past elementary school, I will declare what every mother before me has said, “It goes way too fast!” I thought today about what I would tell mamas of toddler and elementary boys, and I realized I could make all kinds of lists about all sorts of things to teach or preach, but then I thought about my teenage sons…
Though all are thoroughly macho-masculine {smile}, what I sincerely love about all three is that none of them are afraid to express their feelings, including tears. They shed tears of joy and tears of sorrow. They also have very tender hearts to those who may have tears of their own.
This didn’t come by accident or because they’re just feely personalities. It was because of something I read years ago that changed the way I mothered sons. It’s something I feel impressed to leave here today for all your wonderful little boy mamas.
It’s easy when our little boys cry, to instantly tell them to stop. To tell them to toughen up, to be quiet, that boys don’t cry, or that they need to man-up. It was my automatic response until I read a little article that I don’t even know the name or author of, I just remember the message STUCK. The message was don’t tell your little boys to stop crying. Because one day, they will. They will stop crying, and just not cry again.
Emotions are healthy and make us whole. We want to keep the sensitivity in our boys, the emotions that make them human, that connect with others in their joy or sorrow. True masculinity is care and compassion along with all the other traits.
So, when my boys were little I decided to not tell them to stop crying, and came up with ways to say, “You know what? I’m listening. I care. It’s okay to cry. I want to know you and how you feel, let’s talk it out.”
Here are ten things to say instead of “Stop Crying!”
“It’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to not be okay.”
“Is this hard for you?”
“I’m here with you, I won’t leave you.”
“Tell me about it, I want to hear.”
“I hear you.”
“That was really scary/disappointing/upsetting/sad, etc.”
“I will help you work it out.”
“I’m listening and you are important to me.”
“I hear you need space. I am here for you. When you need me, I’ll be close so come find me.”
“I know, life isn’t fair. Life is hard. That’s why we have each other.”
We all know there are times a pity party isn’t needed! I think we can safely say that’s not the situations I would be referring to. But what I do want to say is that the result of sitting still, listening, or feeling with my son, rather then telling him to get it together and be quiet, has been a wonderful thing to watch as they’ve matured and are growing into young men.
Mamas, don’t give up on doing well! For in due time you will reap, if you don’t give up. Bless you all for every little thing you do, the things that aren’t seen or feel appreciated and know that even the little things do count. You are wonder woman.
Alyssa
For Hannah Kate
